Unlock Your Identity: The 4 Stages Of Self-Discovery

 

Many young men feel lost.

We don’t know what to do with our lives — and most importantly — we aren’t sure what we like.

There are stages to discovering who we are. Knowing and understanding where you’re at helps you make progress.

 

The four stages of your identity:

The more positive actions you take, the higher up you get in the four stages.

Where you’re at on the scale of 1–4 depends on you.

 

1. The first stage: Foreclosure

When you act without questioning yourself, you’re in foreclosure.

This is the lowest stage of identity.

In this stage, you don’t question who you are, you just assume it.

An example is: let’s say Jeremy went to uni in finances because that’s what everyone does. It’s just the logical next step.

 

2. The second stage: Not knowing

After foreclosure, you notice that you don’t know anything.

The person you were in stage one doesn’t make sense anymore. You notice that following the crowd isn’t actually what you want to do.

So for example, let’s say Jeremy dropped out of finances. But after dropping out he has no idea what to do next.

This is the most painful stage because you feel lost.

 

3. The third stage: Questioning

The third stage is when you start exploring.

Questions arise and you try to answer them. It’s when you begin to look for new experiences to figure out who you really are.

The third stage begins as soon as you begin to question who you are.

If we follow the example, Jeremy would’ve tested a bunch of new jobs and found out which ones he liked.

This is the questioning step.

 

4. The last stage: Realisation

After you’ve explored, you now find out who you are and what you like.

You’ve explored different possibilities before deciding.

You went from thinking you know what you like (step 1) to actually knowing it (step 4).

The last stage of Jeremy’s identity is when he discovered a new domain he likes — let’s say woodworking — and started working as a woodworker.

 

Last words:

Some people never reach the last step.

They get stuck somewhere along the way.

When you actually know who you are, you live a life you want.

As young men, we’re probably not in the final stage yet. And it’s normal — we haven’t figured everything out just yet. But here’s the problem.

If you get stuck in step 1, you’re living someone else’s life.

If you get stuck in step 2, you’re not living anyone’s life.

Those are no way to live. So we have to walk through the first two steps as fast as possible.

But once you get to step 3, it’s only a matter of time before you reach success and find out what you really like.

The only real way to live is in the fourth stage.

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If you enjoyed this article, you can go through some of my other texts. You won’t regret it.

Do you have any suggestions or advice? Write them in the comments!