Getting a Yes

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I remember that one time I learnt about the “yes yes” negotiation strategy. It is how Socrates, the philosopher, worked to get people to agree with his arguments. 


In an argument, you ask questions that your opponent will have to agree with so that when you lay down your conclusion, his answers end-up supporting your own argument (granted, it takes a bit of thinking on the topic before if it’s the first time you do it).



1. Did it work well when I tried it?

The first time I tried that shit, I didn’t expect much of it to be really honest. It was when someone told me that they didn’t like Philosophy. It was over text so I had a bit of time to plan my things… 

I started with a no-brainer question: “do you like to be free?”. Duh 🙄. “Yes I do,” she answered. I continued with an “do you agree with me that freedom is to not be dependent on someone else?,” followed by a “Yes, 100%”.


At that point I was pretty happy with myself. I was ready to lay down my conclusion: 

So that means that you value Philosophy, I said, because if you don’t question yourself and don’t learn to think, you are dependent on the people that do and have the knowledge you don’t. Philosophy is thinking about what makes a good life and what are the things you value.

- Yes, it’s the same definition I would have given it, she said. 


So I had pretty much brought it home at that point…

- Then why do you say you don’t like philosophy? Finally you seem to like it quite a bit!

- Well, it’s true that with what you said, I like it more than I thought..




BANG, homerun baby!



2. Clarifying Socrates’s way of arguing based on my experience

If I were to repeat my little experiment, I would start with the end (liking Philosophy) and work on what is philosophy. 

Let’s take the same example.

For me philosophy is all about questioning yourself and doubting your thoughts to make sure they are for one true and second that they are valuable and finding (or not finding) answers. So, what does questioning ourselves bring us? It brings clarity of mind and, ultimately knowledge which can be transformed into freedom. Knowledge is freedom. So, you could conclude that to be free, you have to indulge into philosophy to question yourself and so gain knowledge and be independent. 

But, you have to start with the beginning (making them say they value freedom) and then progress to the other points in the opposite order you thought them through at first. The hardest part is finding the right questions to ask them so that their yeses validate your opinion.


The best strategy is to think backwards. What does philosophy bring me/allow me to have? It allows me x

And ask them if they think that x is valuable. That’s the start. The start is often the hardest part. 




3. Why does this work SO well?

In my opinion, the reason why it works so well is because you are not actively trying to force your opinion on them. In a full-on argument, nobody learns and both people are just trying to say their argument. Here, you are just trying to have a good talk about whatever, both of you are on a team to ‘solving’ a problem.

It is the other person that agrees to what you are saying, the only thing you do is guide them to your conclusion with the aid of their previous answers. See it like that, you are trying to show them that they finally like ex:philosophy and that in their minds they got mixed up and thought they didn’t.


4. Best mindset for argumentation 

You two are not enemies, you are both trying to solve a problem as a team and not fighting as enemies. And that’s what’s great: when two people can have an argument where both learn something from the other. The frame of mind you should have while arguing is that everyone can teach you something, everyone has an important lesson that you could benefit from.



-The Stoic Student

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